I don’t eat meat,
that’s what people talk to me about.
Which is odd because I eat every other food
known to humankind,
even tomato ketchup flavoured crisps.

I don’t do exercise,
although if you turn on the Wii
I might be tempted to jog around an imaginary island
for fifteen minutes or so
while admiring the pixelated scenery

I don’t like parties,
because I have to talk to people I don’t know
and party games scare me silly.
Wine is good though
and a dark corner to hide in.

I don’t understand people’s emotional responses
to the carefully-worded factual things I think I say.
I make a mental note
to keep my mouth shut next time:
I won’t manage it though.

I don’t see the point in wasps.
I know that every creature is part of a highly complex
finely balanced ecology:
take away one part and it all crashes down.
But wasps? They have a lot more explaining to do.

I don’t watch reality television
(except for research purposes),
each scene carefully staged
to make the participants ever more angry
with each other.
I don’t like anger.

(If you watch American reality
they get angry to dramatically pounding background music
which I suspect is not realistically reality at all,
not even in America).

I don’t care who started our fight,
who was right, who was wrong.
I just want us to say sorry, smile sheepishly at each other
and maybe sit down to watch television side by side:
even American unrealistic reality
if really necessary.

© Rod Belt 2016


About the author: Writer of DramatisDei, dramatist and dreamer.